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When reality doesn't match your dreams

When reality doesn’t match your dreams

So lately, I’ve determined that I like so many others in my shoes and in the age bracket of 25-35 are at a place in their life where a dawning realization comes to the front of all things conscious and forces you to really take inventory of life’s events.

I am normally a “live by the day,” type of person, but for whatever reason unbeknownst to me, my inner man has decided to remind me that I am not in the place I visually imagined for myself. When confronting such things, I often visualized a man in his fifties who suddenly decides to leave his family, quit his job and move to another country (yes, I am being very dramatic.) But there you have that’s what I imagine so that which solid reasoning I am able to successfully push down that ever confronting thought that my ideals are actually not apart of my reality.

It’s quite depressing. Perhaps I am alone in this concept, but I have this strong assumption that I have a purpose on this earth that is uniquely suited to me and for me only to perform. I am not just a normal 9-5 office worker going through the same mundane conundrums of everyday life that I circle around continually.  Surely I will one day strike up a million dollar company (though money has never been a major concern) and feature in a magazine as a first time…”insert amazing feat here!” …Right?

I pray I am not the ONLY person looking around themselves wondering if this is all I will surmount to…are there no valuable things in me? The more I ponder, the more I panic, the more I sink into a solemn depression. Until one day, I decide that my reality doesn’t have to match my dreams. Life isn’t so bad after all. I travel, I write, I work, I take out times with my dogs, I paint, I socialize, I write blogs like this with hopes someone will read them and give me a virtual high five…and life still isn’t so bad.

I’m not making six figures yet, but I’m not homeless or in poverty. I decided the best way to avoid these personal hiccups that everyone have a tendency of calling restlessness is by first praying and appreciating what’s before me.

If I always look to the sky for a spectacular future then I risk missing the present and all the key factors and moments that could eventually lead to that future.

I can’t say I’m happy where I am. Happiness is temporal thing. But I can say I am joyfully content. Oxymoron? Contradicting? Maybe, but I never said this would be simple.

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 While attending an engagement party of a close relative, one of the friends’ of the family toddler son was outside playing around among the adults and other children. They were all curious and fascinated by my cousin’s five year old Pomeranian-mixed dog.  You would think that this two year old would be so engrossed in his curiosity that the fact that his mother was leaving  (to pick up another friend) would not bother him so much. Yet, as soon as she started walking, he was right behind her. 

Now he’s where the awe and wonder comes in. She told him to stay with the kids and play and she would be back.  He stared at her and rubbed his eyes, but where most kids would normally cry, this tiny tot bit back his tears and held his head high.  I was simply amazed and moved by such bravery and show of will power to do as his mother had instructed.  We, as teenagers, young adults, or even adults are so quick to vocally or emotionally express our disdain or dislike for things, but in a young soul barely old enough to talk has outwardly displayed a life lesson…being patient and learning to obediently wait without complaint.

Now, his mother, normally a strict woman was so touched she brought him alive.  Relief flooded the young toddler’s eyes along with his rivers of tears.  I hope that I too can return to such a state, where simple things as being with family and friends will bring a tide of relief and joy to my heart and eyes.