In recent years, more and more people are dining alone in large groups. In case you missed that, they are in groups, but dining alone. If that confuses you, this is the article for you.
First let me assure you that this is not political, economical, nor based on large literature, but rather is my sole opinion and observation of the growing trends seen throughout different areas of the United States. In the Mid-South areas, you will see a mixture of two groups in a cafe, restaurant, or bar. In one group, you will find the normal standard intermingling with one another through conversation; you may see an occasional hand contact between members, giggling, and/or general spoofing among one another. Maybe even a tiny bit of teasing and “playful” bullying,
In group two, you will find a similar number of members in the group, but without the conversation or intermingling. Instead, you will see three-four individuals sharing a table eating and reading or strolling on their phone in solitude. Maybe every now and then, someone will share something funny or a post, but more oft than naught, the solitary confinement of the phone begins again.
You may think, ‘I like that. I don’t see a problem with being on the phone while publicly dining.’ But here’s the problem. Why is substituting a necessary social behavior needed for potential careers, networking, and relationships with a man-made device acceptable to so many people in America?
Sherry Turkle states in her book “Why We Expect More from Technology and Less from Each Other.
“The use of texting and Facebook and Twitter and other sites as a form of communication is eroding people’s ability to write sentences that communicate real meaning and inhibit the art of dialogue,” Saunders Medlock says. “It also allows people to communicate without ever seeing each other or hearing a voice, and this has a huge impact in that much communication is done non-verbally or in inflection and tone of voice. We will have a generation that has no clue how to read any of these cues.”
I’m sorry, you probably thought that this was about dining alone and it is, but it’s looking at solitary dining from a different perspective. Let’s move to the Northeast.
When I stayed in Baltimore, MD for a while and conjugated my daily life near the pier, I noticed more interaction and communal gathering where people actually socialize with one another. I would say that this is probably due to the aging population, but I cannot contest that to be true, since the same cannot be said of the same group in the South.
Instead, I think it’s more of an awareness and effort to socialize “properly” when in a group setting. Case and point, I went to several bars and cafe and while I did see some group solitary dining, most people actively kept their phone in a secure place (out of view): all ages included. It was a breath of free air to see a glimpse of the age “free of technology” in these modern times.
Further North to Vermont, you saw more group communal settings where people actively engaged with one another, all ages included, without the use or implications of a cell phone. Which has led me to believe that the solitary dining that I am seeing so often in the South may be a cultural issue and not a technology problem. I cannot say why at this point (that’s another article), but it does leave me intrigued.
And yet, when I ventured out West, I began to see more solitary group dining. More selfies, more strolling, and more disconnected looks. Or more confused looks from that stray lamb that appears eager to communicate with someone before adopting the same dead look as they pull out their phone.
Solitary dining used to be a lone venture filled with observation of your surroundings and people watching. For some, it may be a sad occasion, but for the artiste, it was a method of self-reflection and research. Perhaps group solitary dining can be used in the same way. Maybe not. The whole purpose of eating in a group is to engaged and socialize, right?
Regardless of how we spend our outings with others, be it in a large or small group, or just with your significant other…I believe your focus should be on them, not the glowing screen.
Felecia's Optic View 